I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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