How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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