I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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