Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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