just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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