She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
