Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
