You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
