hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
