I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
