Please, let me fuck your mom
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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