He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize