just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
