it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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