If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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