Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
