I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
