4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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