So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
