So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Can Purell be used as lube?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
