Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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