I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize