She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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