Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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