And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
