Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
