Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
