Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
