Dual....:-)
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
