When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize