Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize