Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How external is "for external use only"?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
