i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
