Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
