Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize