Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
