Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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