Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
