they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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