Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
