Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
