How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
