you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
