smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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