We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
