No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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