My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
