No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
