Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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