Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
