I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
