Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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