i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
