Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
