i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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