hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
