No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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