just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
