he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
