so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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