Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize