we're blogging at a bar
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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