My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
