I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
